DPP2021 Day 22 - Signs of the times....

 This is what it looks like when a die hard gamer just needs a little pick me up snack.   Wandering around the house loudly talking with his online buddies and "teaming" their way through a video game stopping only long enough to take a big chomp out of his gingerbread house.  This little man loves anything that has interaction as part of it.  He has never been one for video games or screens because it was an individual activity but now that he can play with his school friends, he is all about it.  

E had a bunch of friends over and they found this sight hysterical.   He was completely oblivious to all of us watching him and giggling at his snacking method.   He had a match to win and kept his focus.  

Today was full of fun for E as she and her friends had their second annual "friend" Christmas.  These four are entertaining to be around and it is never dull.  They went a few weeks ago to purchase matching PJs and planned a day of Christmas fun.  

They got gifts for one another - and E and the pink bunny both got each other the exact same thing which only made the gift more perfect.  The young man in the black sweatshirt gave them all a trip to Kobe for Christmas (I was jealous!) so their Christmas celebration got to continue longer than the originally planned 6pm.  They frosted Christmas cookies and watched Christmas movies as well.   Well, if you can call it watching the movie.   This is apparently how teenagers watch movies....

They finished their evening going to see the new Spiderman movie.  Sounds like a really fun day to me.  I am so grateful that E has found some good and loyal friends.  She has had a lot of unkind people in the wake of life and it makes me appreciate friends like these three all the more.   Mostly, I am glad that they know how to make any day fun doing any activity.  They laugh a lot and pester each other like brothers and sisters.  

I didn't take any other photos for the day.  Lil b played in a very short basketball tournament (2nd place medal secured), Big B went to mom and dads to help Kevin with wrapping and doing all the things I would normally do.  He sweetly made sure they had lunch, did dishes, cleaned up messes and tried to anticipate what might bother my mom.  He has such a good heart and he isn't afraid of hard work.   K was mom's buddy all day.  She helped me bake cookies, watched basketball with me, frosted cookies with the teenagers, and helped me cook dinner.   I like that cute little shadow.  I know those days are numbered and I am soaking up all the times that she likes being with me. 

Tomorrow we begin our Christmas celebrations with Rich's family.  We haven't seen them all in ages.  Looking forward to reconnecting after a long time away.    

DPP2021 Day 21 - Soaking in the Christmas Spirit

Today was a busy day wrapping up the last of work before I tack on a couple vacation days to an already generous time off provided by the University for Christmas break.  There will still be plenty that needs to be done as I prepare for my course that starts on January 3rd but I got as much done as I could.  This left the evening free to slow down a bit and enjoy some traditions.  I spent the afternoon wrapping gifts for my parents and baking cookies at their house.   So I was ready for a little down time with my munchkins.  Lil b had basketball practice so K and Big B and I snuggled up and watched some Home Alone.   E was planning to head to a basketball game with a friend but at the last moment decided not to.  We decided to squeeze in a tradition that K was dying to do from the moment I brought them home.   It was late and I was worried that tired kiddos might derail the fun but alas, they were at their best.   

Let the building begin!  I took some video of them doing these because it just highlights their personalities so well.   They were cracking me up with their little side conversations.  E went straight to work, quietly creating detail and beauty in her house.  She worked for some simplistic elegance and did a great job achieving it.  K watched and learned from her big sis, as she does.  She began to mimic her snow and icicles on her house.  She did come up with her own idea of a wreath made of the fondant and Big B rewarded her creativity with a request to copy.   She beamed with pride as she granted permission.  It isn't every day a youngest child is given the opportunity to say yes or no.  Big B then came up with the idea for fondant trees which was adopted by all his siblings.  This type of activity doesn't play to Big B's strengths except for the fact that he is exceptional at idea development and hilarious self-deprecating humor.  So from there forward, he began to innovate out loud and soon trees, chimneys and lights were going up on all the houses.  Lil B tolerates the decorating activity but what he really loves is the opportunity to be loud, interact with people and eat a bunch of sugar.  I love that he isn't afraid to go his own way.  He came up with some decorating ideas that no one else had and was proud of his uniqueness.  He created a doormat and some decorations on the side of the roof that no one else had.  But he only decorated for awhile before he was gnawing off the side of his gingerbread house.   He and Big B started creating stories of the attackers of their houses and used those stories as an excuse to dive in to chomping on the hard gingerbread.  This did not seem appetizing to me.  The girls just ignored them and continued on their quest for beautiful gingerbread houses.   Here are some of the finished products.  

K, as she usually does every year, sat long after everyone else was done and continued adding detail to her house so we had to take another finished product photo.  

I am glad that we squeezed this in on this late evening.  It was a good way to start Christmas break.  It is always fun to watch them interact and laugh together.  Gently teasing one another and learning to laugh at themselves.   Traditions aren't always easy and can be tough to fit in to an already busy season.  But they always reward with connection, fun, and shared experiences that bind us together.  It is my hope that our children continue to want to do things together and to share these experiences even as they grow.  Tonight was definitely a deposit in the account of togetherness.  

DPP2021 Days 18 and 19 - Lights, Camera, Action

 

A full and fun weekend was had by the Hoffman crew!  The photo above is what I will submit to for the day's photos is from Santa's Rockin' Eve light show that we were able to attend courtesy of Google and my brother who works there.  More on that in a bit.  Interestingly, on Friday, I had made a mental list of all the things I was going to get done with my "free" weekend.  Well, Lil B had a tournament that got added, we had the light show, watching the Huskers come up just short and then we added in a trip to the Symphony as well.  My to do remains unchanged as I sit here at 11:30 on a Sunday night.  Starting to feel the stress of what must get done rolling in.   I am trying to keep my focus on family, togetherness, and fun.  Taking opportunities as they become available.  This weekend we succeeded in some unexpected fun.  So while I admit that list feels heavier tonight, I know it was worth it to set it aside to make room for our lights, camera, and action filled weekend.   

Saturday started out with a bang.  The only thing worse than an 8:30am YMCA basketball game for 14 year old boys is an 8:30am YMCA basketball game for 14 year old boys where the opposing team didn't call, just no showed.  My team of guys has to be the best group of young men - great attitudes, kind kids, and so polite.  They had one birthday that didn't make the cut off for 14u basketball, so they had to play up.  The Y didn't have a 15u league so these guys played at 16u.  The difference between freshman and juniors is brutal and it was a hard fall league.  Early on, I just asked them to play all forty minutes.  We knew they would be outsized and out matched on speed so we decided we would take chances and get better.  Not only did they play all forty minutes of every last game, they found ways to have fun doing so.  I was so proud of the growth and the grit they had.  A little special pride for Big B as he is one of the smaller kids on our team but still stayed in it, played hard, and used his unpredictable movements to find success anyway.  Poor kids are saddled with a coach whose top talent is subbing guys in and out.  So it was disappointing to not have the team show for our last game, but the guys showed up just like they have every other week.  I gave them the choice to head back home to bed or play each other.   We had 7, so they looked to the stands to see if some parents would play.   Only one volunteered..... None other than the best dad ever....Rich.  

We started full court but it became clear really quickly that Rich wasn't gonna make it. No judgement - most of us reading this would be in the same boat or worse.  So we switched from 4 on 4 to 3 on 3 and played half court.   He was imperfect and clumsy.   Becoming aware of how much harder it is to do than to watch.   But he was all in.  He was playing full out, giving his best and combining it with his humor.  He made some shots and threw some airballs but all of that didn't matter.  He was the MVP in Big B's world and mine.  It was a perfect way to end the season.  Now. . . will he be able to move by tomorrow.....

Next up with Lil B for the first of the surprise tournament games.   They have moved up a level in competition and it is an adjustment.  Lil B is competitive and has a drive to win - which makes this new level hard for him.  But it stretches him to grow and improve which is what the whole point is of basketball at this age.   Fortunately, he bounces back quickly and returns to his happy self.  He got some one on one time with mom and dad after his game as we all stopped at Omom and Pawee's to do some chores.  Lil B has always been an avoider of chores and work.   Often agreeing to do a job and then quietly disappearing without doing it. . . highly clever and effective in a family with four kids.  By the time we realized he hasn't complete it, he is long gone.   But today, he was a helper extraordinaire.  No complaints and eager to help.   And help, he did.   Here he is helping both to get all the leaves out of his grandparents garage but he also learned how to jump start a car.   Now, will someone please tell me why the Germans put the battery in the trunk!?!?!?

Once he was finished, Uncle Tev got the idea to "teach him to shave".   At first, I was a bit alarmed.  However, Kevin brought out an element of childhood that I had long since forgotten.  When we were young, if we came in while Dad was shaving, he would let us sit on the counter, lather up our faces with shaving cream, and "shave" our faces with the back of his hair comb.  It brought back so many memories watching Kevin play this moment forward.   Lil B was a bit generous with the shaving cream and had it everywhere - including his nose.   He had a great time pretending to shave.  He even tried the aftershave which got a Home Alone type of response from him.   

I often feel sorry for the kids that choose to stay at home when I can see what they are missing.  I always hope they start to learn that on their own.  Sometimes showing up is all you need to do to find some fun adventures.  Big B and K would have loved this adventure.

The evening wrapped up with the awesome light show.  I am not sure I would have loved the light show as much if I would have paid the price for the ticket as it is, in my opinion, a bit steep for something that lasts about 30 minutes.  However, Uncle Tev spoiled the kids and my mom with light up Christmas light necklaces.  We stopped for some hot chocolate to enjoy while we drove through.  We had two cars.  E went with her grandparents and Kevin while the rest of us were in the van.  Our car was raucous and loud as the kids sang along loudly and exclaimed at different things at they drove by.  We found the Christmas dinosaurs to be particularly amusing.  They sent themselves into fits of giggles as we passed the GIANT "Ho Ho Ho" signs and they all were doing their best Santa impression.  I suspect the other car was far more subdued but I was told that E was a blast.  She chatted away, pointing out all the best things, and making the experience even more fun for her car.  She was probably thrilled to not be in the loud car.   We ended the night with Taco Pizza and Husker Volleyball.   It was pretty great family night.  Here is how E and her friend, Faith watch Husker Volleyball.

The next day was full as well but the only photos I took were from a quick adventure to the Symphony for a holiday spectacular.  K was riveted.   Mom and Dad decided at the last minute that they couldn't go.  Fortunately, our friends were in the neighborhood and were able to jump in and join us.  It was SO fun.  I was sad that Mom and Dad didn't get to go but it was a decent second best that K got to watch with one of her good buddies.   

Now I am to the point my eyes are drooping and I keep having to delete and rewrite as I type nonsense with my eyes closed.  So it is time for sleep for this mama.  But I close this weekend out with a full heart and lots of gratefulness for the extra fun that comes out for this season. 

DPP 2021 Day 17 - All before 10am......

After a night off from writing the stories of the day, you would have thought I would have gotten to bed earlier.  You would be wrong but that would have been a logical and smart thing to do.   Unfortunately, there were other things to do like watch the Husker Volleyball team beat Pitt to head to the championship game  And truth be told, I hadn't take any photos all day, so I snapped one of that cute little deer that I bought for Miss K to have for an ornament and took the night off.   The Final Four Volleyball games were incredible.   We are looking forward to watching the Huskers play for the National Championship tomorrow.  So this photo was taken shortly there after.  It was after midnight, so it qualifies as day 17.  She has had so many late nights this week as she moves her way through finals week.  Here she is writing and editing for her AP Language class.  It is an exceptional class with an exceptional teacher - I have seen the most tangible learning in her that I have ever seen.  It is not an easy class and she has had to work really hard but she will walk away with some of the most impressive writing skills that I have see from her.  A great college prep course, to be sure.  

In the morning, B was one of the first ones up and came down ready to chat and ask questions, as he does.  And he reminded me that I needed to remember to write the story of this "sweater".   He calls it a sweater because it says "#sweaterweather" on it.  We ran to Hy-Vee for an emergency purchase of pizza rolls.  Big B has turned into a full fledge teenage boy with the insatiable appetite to go with it.  Lately, his "snack" has been a plate full of pizza rolls which does not slow down his consumption of meals and perhaps more pizza rolls later.   As we walked in, this sweatshirt was stuffed in a bin off to the side but the mere sight of it grabbed him like a tractor beam.  He made a beeline for it, turned to me and said - "I must have this.  What do I have to do to get this?  Chores, transfer money from savings, sell a kidney?"  B has a tendency to spend money faster than he gets it.  Even when he has a job, he still manages to spend as fast as it comes in.  So naturally, he had no money.  Typically, I am a mom that loves to let a good natural consequence do its job.  But this time of year makes me such a softy and I knew that he would wear it like crazy.  Nothing goes with pizza rolls better than a Chester the Cheetah Cheetos "sweater."  The above photo isn't great - it is an odd angle as I shoot from my comfy coffee drinking chair - but I just loved that Teds is looking at him like he is nuts.   

The morning continued with this happy girl loving on her puppy before heading out to school for the day.  Poor Teddy just never gets any attention!  K does so well in the mornings.  I am not sure if she is just a morning person or if it is the fourth kid in her.  But she gets up, gets dressed, gets her snacks and water, makes herself breakfast, does her own hair, and always has time to snuggle up to both mom and Teddy.   One of the beautiful things about having four kids is it builds independence and responsibility easily as we couldn't do everything for them even if we wanted to.  

I took vacation from work today which left me free to take this pretty lady to the airport.  Those who know her will know just how many times she thanked me for taking her to the airport and how many times she apologized before asking me.   Little does she know, I would move mountains for her.  First of all, it is a delight to get to spend 20-30 minutes in the car with one of my favorite people.  Secondly, to say I owe her a few favors would be the understatement of the year.  The last couple months as I tried to do more than my capacity could manage, this woman and her hubby held me together.   They provided the safe space for me to process, think through, and problem solve the challenges that came up.  When I turned up sick, it was this beautiful friend who went to be with my mom so she wouldn't be alone.  When I needed to feel all the feelings of the last two months, she was my shoulder to cry on and the one I could speak to both my fears and frustrations knowing she would hold it in confidence.  To have someone that knows your heart well enough that you can be 100% authentic with even your less than desirable thoughts is a gift very few people can give me.  To say I am thankful for her is just not a strong enough statement.   Finally, after so many months of people doing things for me, I just feel SO happy to do something for someone else.   So really, she was doing me the favor.   

Off she goes!  I hope she has a great time and I am little jealous of her quick get away!  

All of the above happened before 10am - and I didn't take another photo the entire day.  With a day of vacation in front of me, I was not going to lose out on the opportunity to get as much Christmas prep done as possible.  The faster I move through that to do list, the sooner I can get to some true time to refresh and renew.  I am looking forward to it.  Don't get me wrong, I love the hustle and bustle of the holidays but I also love the quiet moments that allow for rest, connection, and renewal.

DPP2021 Day 16 - She rested

 

Despite a busy day with plenty of fun and hard - it was a day to take a breath from the blog.   So on Day 16 - she rested.   

DPP2021 Day 15 - The 70's. . . .

 

As much gratitude as I had for a typical day on day 14, Day 15 I am grateful is not a typical day and it resides firmly in the temporary.  Today was a chemo day.   My gratitude continues to overflow that even the emotions around taking Dad to chemo day are totally different this go round.  Last time, we were both dreading the return of the super fatigue but we had steeled ourselves in the hope of moving toward completion.   But this time, we both didn't feel nearly as much of anything.  That lack of big emotion was worth mountains of gratitude.  The two weeks was tolerable.  Please don't misunderstand that he is running at 100% but from where he has been before the last two weeks, it is SO much better.  So we keep forging forward towards getting his 70th decade back on track for more hiking and biking and travel!

Even on his hardest days, he meets these providers cheerfully and with good humor.  Often teasing or mock complaining, just to break their routine and get their attention.  I think it is such a smart move.  He does it effortlessly because being ornery runs in this man's blood.   But it disrupts the routine, the typical office visit, and it makes the provider stop and truly see him.  Humanizes him a little more than a few minutes prior and makes connections that keeps putting more and more people on the team of those that want to see him do well.  Expert play, Dad.   Well done.  

Speaking of the 70's, this is the photo he shared while chemo was running.  Cracked me up.   One of the MANY expert hikes we went on with Dad.  Speaking of expert plays. . . .look who is getting a ride back to the car!

Well, it was in the 70's, in the midwest, in December - crazy!  You would think everyone spent the day outside enjoying the weather but you would be wrong.  That 70's was met with wind speeds also in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.  Fortunately, there were no tornados in our area though they were likely today.  The kids had an early dismissal for strong winds. . . .that was a first.  Well, for us, that meant a leak in the kitchen. . . .not fun.   Even the Christmas tree in the back ground can't make me like this fact anymore.   Fortunately, I've gotta guy and he will fix this all good as new.  Just a nuisance and an expense - probably way over the 70's.   Our cabin had a pipe burst and a big flood too. . . .that when it rains, it pours quote comes to mind.   

I got to have a little time with Big B tonight one on one.  He keeps me on my toes with all his clever ideas and probing questions.  He is a thinker and I think he might ask 10,000 questions a day.  Here, he is letting the dog out at the dog's request.  But you wouldn't know that here because Teddy will go to the door to let you know he wants out, then when you move to open it, he backs off and looks at you like, "Why would you send me outside?"  Much like I mentioned in Day 14, Big B looks out for animals, always.   So what did he do?  

He figured that maybe those gale force winds were making the puppy nervous, so he led the way.  Into the wind he went, just so that his puppy would feel comfortable going potty one more time before bed.  

Perhaps the funniest thing that happened was that B had found some pajama pants that Teds have brought down from his room to bring as a gift to a package delivery driver.  He held them while he talked to me for awhile and then suddenly he put them on, over his other pants, and started laughing.  He said he didn't want to forget to take them upstairs and started mockingly shaking his overly padded bum at me.  So I smacked him in the same mocking fashion and he let out an exclamation which hit a very familiar pitch and sound. . . that Big B recognized immediately, and began singing the instrumental part of Smooth Criminal.   Reperformed the high pitched "Whhoo" where it fit in the song.   I died laughing as he was singing and dancing to a little MJ around the kitchen.  You just never know what will happen next with him.   Never dull.   

Those silver linings came in cures for the 70 and some years old patient, the safety afforded to my loved ones in the 70 degree weather and the 70mph gale forces winds, and the blessing of this blog to remind me how good life is.   

The rest will be my wrapping this up so I can get some sleep.  

DPP 2021 - Day 14 - There was a wall of meat......

 

Has anyone else noticed how incredibly beautiful the skies have been lately?  Big B and I got up early to go do a pet sitting job before school and we were rewarded with this unbelievable sky.  Big B noticed it first.  I snapped this out my car window and did absolutely nothing to the photo.  Almost makes me want to get up to see the sunrise more often. . . .almost.   I am grateful to my friend who asks B to watch her kitty.  It is definitely one of B's gifts to care for animals.  He is attune to what animals are letting him know about what their preferences are and respects them even over his own desire to give attention to the animal.  My other children do not always exhibit this gift and B tries to teach it, but overcoming selfish desire is tough. . . . even for grown ups.  

The beauty of today didn't end with the sunset.  It was that it was a pretty standard day.  I am sure you think, great - what is so exciting about that?!?!  That is fair as this was the type of day that I would barely note most of the year.  There wasn't much beyond going to work and a school concert that was noteworthy.  However, there is nothing like a time of trial to open your eyes to the blessings of the ordinary.  The richness and comfort of the common.  I relished the typical feel that today had and for today, I noticed it.  There will come a day again that I will take for granted the regular day but for today, it felt like a gift.  Speaking of gifts, today was the Christmas party for campus.   I wasn't able to go because I was hustling out west to pick up Lil B.   More on that in a minute. . . but first, I had to share with you what my friend sent me that was at the party. . . .

It is a wall of meat, with more meat and cheese sticking out of it.   I have no words.....  At least they threw a few veggies on top?   It really raises more questions than it provides answers.  

But alas, the meat wall did not get my attention today because my son picked the bass in the orchestra.  When you are the van driver and your son plays the bass, you have to get to school for pick up because there is only one car that instrument is fitting in!  The orchestra and band concert was fantastic.  I am always amazed at how much they learn so early on.  Elementary orchestra and band teachers are under-appreciated - no matter how much we appreciate them. I also look forward to when they have learned more as those "learning" notes sometimes get the best of my spine.  Lil B really seems to enjoy both but if he had to pick, he would pick trumpet.  I didn't get a picture of him with the trumpet just by the nature of where my seat was but here is my bass playing man.  

There were also two cute audience members whom were very happy to see they weren't the only involuntary audience member.  

And no band and orchestra concert would be complete without some mandatory ice cream afterward.  Or a cheese Runza if you are the Dad.  

The day ended with another very common sighting this year.  This young lady spends all too much of her late evenings studying instead of sleeping.   She was getting a little goofy here and kept saying, "For your blog!" before striking another silly pose.   Between each overly posed, cheesy smile picture - she would laugh, almost maniacally, and then look at me wild eyed and said, "I am a little punchy."  She then sat with me at the kitchen table.  We turned on instrumental Christmas music, lit a Christmas-y candle, brewed some keurig apple cider and worked facing the Christmas tree.  If we both must work late into the night, we are at least going to have a cozy "vibe" going.  I feel certain that I used that wrong but that is what the kids say these days.  Plus, I love to use slang to make her roll her eyes at me.  One of the many ways I try to remind her not to take herself so seriously by clearly modeling that.  The other ways are dancing around the kitchen at every opportunity, singing loudly and obnoxiously in the car, and embracing my inner nerd. These photos imply she is catching on.     

DPP2021Day 12 and 13 - The surprise video at the end.....

 

This photo was definitely the most artistic of our two day cycle so it wins as top photo.   Our Sunday started very busy with two final basketball games of the Fall session followed by church.  After that, the Sunday was ours to create and enjoy.  As is the custom of this time of year, my list was long and overly ambitious.   I always think I can get more done in a day that what I actually do.   However, I did make some major headway on Christmas shopping and other household to dos.   Every Sunday, I also meal plan for a few meals for my parents.  This Sunday, I finally got smart and made two of everything so that our family would have some meals too.   It has been a long run of Chef Boyardee, Frozen pizza, and mac and cheese with mom gone so much.  

On the menu this week, is a chicken pot pie casserole and a baked cheese ravioli.   My parents have people bringing food a few times a week but I like to make sure they have easy main dishes to grab for lunches and dinners on the nights food isn't coming.  It makes it easier on Dad to make sure they are getting good solid meals every day.  Last week was beefy black bean chili and tuna casserole.  I think my Dad could eat tuna casserole every day if given the opportunity.  I also usually make him oatmeal cookies but unfortunately, I ran out of time!  I will have to owe him one.  He very much loves mom's recipe for oatmeal cookies which won the blue ribbon at the country fair and the purple ribbon at the state fair.  Mom can't cook anymore without help so he was pleasantly surprised to find that I knew how to make her recipe.  When I was young, I didn't think about the lessons I was learning when I helped mom in the kitchen.  There may be some things I never master because I never had the patience to learn her or Mamo's way of doing it (*ahem, pie crust, *ahem) but at least most of our family recipes, I can carry forward.  

Big B, at my suggestion, made plans to go to a movie with a friend.  Big B isn't great at instigating activities as he is so content to just be in his room.  Sometimes he just needs these little reminders about how much he enjoys hanging with friends - inertia is powerful in teenagers, dontcha know? I don't know why it is there are times when things strike me as these ah-ha moments of the kiddos growing up but today was one of them.  With Covid, Big B hasn't had as many times of being dropped off places with friends because it just wasn't an option for so long.  So watching him walk away made my mama heart skip a little at the thought of only about one more year that I get to watch him walk away from the car and need pick ups and drop offs.   E and I logged so much time driving to all her basketball things.  When she turned 16, what I missed most was our chats or joking around or singing loudly in the car.  I still miss it.   Today, I just felt that passing time was more palpable than normal.   I will continue to let him walk away but it doesn't mean I don't get to lament the little boy who is walking away into the past as well.   

Speaking of teenagers, a funny moment happened today with a sneak attack hug that I just happened to have my camera out to take a photo of the food I was making and caught the sneak attack on camera.   

E and Rich have this hilarious relationship because they both have the same sense of humor and give each other endless grief.  From competing on who is the tallest (it is E - though Rich held on the title for sooooo long) or who is the smartest or who is the fastest or who K likes best or anything else they can dream up to compete with each other on.  So it only stands to reason that if Dad wants a hug, E must not want to give one because she knows that he instantly make a game of it and she usually is able to dodge and weave and make an exit with an evil villian "A ha!" laugh.   The look on her face is so funny as she is clearly both surprised, amused, and suddenly aware that he won this round.  Shortly after this photo, she dropped to the ground for the escape.  The giggles and screeching was quite the entertainment in the middle of my kitchen while I tried to make meals.  But these are things that keep my life so interesting.   

At the end of day 12, the two littles asked that I take their photo and then posed like this.  I found this hilarious! I always think they will get tired of this blog.  I have been doing it for 8 years now.   But they don't.   They actively participate and make note when a story belongs on the blog.  And every now and then, we get a cheesy posed photo in their eagerness to participate.  I am here for all of it because I love their spirit.   These two either are the bestest of buds or archenemies.   There isn’t much in between with them.  Fortunately, most of the time they are best buds.  A fun thing I want to remember right now is their innovative spirit.   They are both creative and innovative.  Lil B is a leader of people and he has the charisma to convince people this is a business is worth their time and K is the one that brings him back down to the tasks at hand.  They have developed a new business where they are crumbling up candy and mixing and matching it to create new concoctions.  I call this a win because it means a whole bunch of that Halloween candy is being smashed up to create new creations of inventory.   One night, we went up and and they had "set the table" (three tv trays with plates, silverware and drinks) and served us a four course meal of different powdered and reconstituted candies.   I don't know how they dreamt this up but it provides them with hours of entertainment while keeping them off of screens.   I take a little mess to know their little brains are working away and developing those entrepreneur skills.  

Day 13 started a little rough as Mondays do.   Everyone was tired and trying to find their rhythm in the morning routine.  I just happened to be walking by to see Big B move from his bed to sitting on the floor so that he could have a morning chat with Teds before heading off to school.  The relationship B has with Teddy is pretty sweet.  B doesn't ever force Teds to do anything and as a reward, Teds gravitates towards B a lot of the time.  B, of course, loves that which only further encourages his spoiling of Teds.   

This photos pretty much summarized our Monday.   E wasn't feeling great but had a presentation that was a be there or get 50% type of situation.   A little light headed and clammy but she wasn't about to not be there.  She doesn't complain about not feeling well often so I was a bit worried but she rebounded quickly. I think she just has just run herself down.   As the day went on, she felt better and her project we well too.   I love that she cares so much about her schooling and her future.  But sometimes she has to be reminded to sleep and to take care of herself too.  This has been especially true in this semester with AP Lang and Physics keeping her on her toes.  B was just tired.  He has worked hard this semester and is ready for break.  He continues to power through but he doesn't have to like it.  

The last thing is a video.   She gave us permission to post which is HUGE for her.  She hasn't been one to be willing to sing in front of others.  She has been able to carry a tune (even when her brothers are singing loudly and off key) since she was very little.   She sings constantly around the house.  And when she asked for me to put this on my blog, I about fell over.   So if you are reading this and you take the time to listen to her short little video - leave K a little note in the comments here, or on Facebook or Instagram.   And is there anything cuter than a young singer singing the words as her brain heard them?  This takes bravery for her and I am so proud of her for moving towards being more comfortable singing all the time.  Baby Steps.  

Then when I tried to teach her the words,  I just screwed up her vibe. Even so, you can hear her confidence increasing....💖

DPP2021 Day 11 - It may be hard, but it will be worth it.

My Bible study this morning asked me to think through which parts of the Christmas story that I would like to make sure I remember this season.  There was a definite theme to my thoughts.  I couldn't help but recognize the hard.  Society wasn't really on the side of the unmarried pregnant female or the man who chose to stay with her - yet they said yes.  First labors are hard enough in a cushy hospital with lots of help - a barn must have been an extra challenge - yet they persevered. Leaving your flocks and following a star probably didn't seem like rational shepherd behavior, yet they left.  My point being it put on my brain - how often things may be hard but they will be worth it.   This gave me immeasurable hope today as there has been a lot of hard and a lot of sad in the last two years for my family.   But I think if you asked any of us if it had been worth it to keep moving forward through the hard, it would be a unanimous yes.   The photo above is the celebration of a group of people who have learned or are soon to learn, their hard battle will be very worth it.  

We graduated our first class of #JayPAs today.  This has been a dream since 2016 and an active labor of mine since 2017.  It wasn't easy building a program from the ground up.  There were days it felt downright impossible.  We had all taught PA School before but this was a new curriculum with a new set of resources.   But we had tremendous support from our Dean and the University.  Slowly, the clinical partners knew who we were and warmed up to the idea of our students studying in their clinics.  With this first class making such a good impression, many are now eager to have our students.  It has been a labor of love but this class has shown that our hard work exceeded our wildest expectations.  They excel on national exams letting us know that not only did we meet the mark, we went flying past it.  But most of all, the entire reason I love being an educator even though I also love clinic - is that I love seeing the process of undergraduate to professional.  And watching those 23 students march across the stage they were nearly unrecognizable as the wide eyed matriculant they were a mere 28 months prior.  They not only blazed the trail through an untested curriculum, the weathered the disruption of a global pandemic to their studies, and continued to learn to serve patients through the ongoing pandemic in their clinicals.  And today, they can look back on all that hard and know, it was all worth it as they are officially PAs.  

A special shout out to this group.  The inaugural group of Team Hoffman.  To say I am proud would be an understatement.  

There is another little lady that tackled some hard today.  Miss K is a pretty talented little lady - but she does not love to perform.   She has her little friend that invited her to do a Nutcracker workshop and she loved every minute.  However, she isn't always sure she likes the idea of doing a performance.  I had to miss the live performance as I had to be downtown for graduation but I was able to watch the live feed.  K also gave me a full report after I got home.  She was glad that she did the performance even though she was very nervous and wasn't sure wanted to. I tried to help her see that everyone gets nervous but that you can just push through those nerves and learn how much fun performing can be.  I can't say that she is there yet.  But today was one more brick in the path that teaches her that she can do it and she can have fun doing so.   It is hard for her to decide to do it anyway and today it was totally worth it that she did.  

All of these moments remind me that the hard often builds the strength to get to the good.  This is such a good reminder as we continue to navigate a very long road with my Dad.  Even in amongst that hard, there have been some moments that make it .... sort of .... worth it.  For example, the first two cycles of chemo were SO brutal for my Dad.   I know I have mentioned the fatigued - but whatever you are imagining, it was worse.  He had never had chemo before so we assumed it was chemo.  He would get awful night sweats and chills.   Sometimes debilitating abdominal pain.  But what always bothered him the most, was the fatigue.  In hindsight, we now see that almost all of his symptoms during that time were due to infections.  There was a lot of hard in dealing with those infections.  Hospital stays and he still is suffering through a drain attached to him.  But the worth it part was that it opened our eyes to how well he is tolerating the chemo.  Because as those symptoms of infection subsided, we now see a man that is "fired up and ready to tackle the world."   That might be a bit of an overstatement or a lot of one - but that is what he always said to us - every. single. day. when we left for school.   He would say, "Erin are you fired up and ready to tackle the world?  Ready to go out there and give them the old Riley 1, 2!"   The two always had a bit of a grunt to it - like how a quarterback might say it when counting off the snap.   In reality, by comparison to the first two months of this process - he really is doing awesome.  And we are both finding joy in his ability to care for mom, get out to the kids basketball games, to walk to the mail box, run a few errands, and feel like a normal human for more than one or two days of the chemo cycle.   He wasn't perfect but the last two weeks were doable.  And the hard of the first two months made our perspective such that we realized that all that work got us to here and for now, here is worth it.   

It is VERY late and time for me to sleep.   Tomorrow is a busy day of cooking for both households, organizing and whittling away on to dos for Christmas and a few basketball games in there too.   And if I am going to be ready to fire up and tackle the hard - I need some sleep.