Hindsight 2020

 Multiple times this year I have found it ironic that the year 2020 has been so crazy.  When 20/20 is supposed to mean clear vision and that things are crystal clear from the appropriate distance.  And here we are in a year where we not only have blurry vision, we feel blind as to what is next.  Any plans made have contingency plans and caveats trying to account for the uncertain, unclear, and unknown.  I feel certain as we look back on the year 2020, we will find more insight, more hindsight than any other year.  Hindsight is interesting, is it not?  It is a powerful tool of growth and resilience.  It is hindsight that will humble us to actions that went wrong.  Things we would take back if we could.  That hindsight teaches us patience and to be better decision makers in the future.  Hindsight often shows us where what once seemed bad has actually become a blessing.  Teaching us patience as God's plan moves forward without our vision for the future but His.  It builds some grit and resilience in knowing that in our hard times that good can come of it.  Hindsight can also build regret.  As we look back and see opportunities missed and places we let our fear or our mismatched priorities lead us away from where we should have been.  Regret is a painful teacher, for sure.  But it does open our eyes so that we see the next opportunities more clearly and we more carefully evaluate our priorities.  The Year 2020, I expect we will be humbled, we will see the blessings, and we will have some regret as we take the time to turn around and look back on it with hindsight.  

A bit of a tangent, one of my life's great regrets was when I was on a student ambassador trip to New Zealand.  It was a well organized trip with all of our moments filled (a wise move when travelling abroad with a bunch of high schoolers).  A rare occurrence of a spontaneous stop provided an opportunity to bungee jump into a gorgeous ravine.   I have no desire to bungee jump now - having family will do that to ya - but back then, I was 17, fearless, invincible and I knew everything.  I wanted to go but it was expensive and it was 4am back home.  We had to call home for permission and for the assessment of the expense.  I was certain that a call at 4am would cause my mother to panic (it would have) and my father to be annoyed (that was also likely true).  I really believed they would say no and it would have taken most of my money and I still had three weeks left.  So I didn't even call.   I didn't try.   It was several months down the road when I told my Dad about that experience and he said, "You should have called.  I would have said yes and I could have given them my credit card.  That would have been an amazing experience."   It was likely a passing conversation for my Dad but for me, it has left an imprint on my life.  It doesn't hurt to ask.  It is always worth trying something new.  And there are more important things than money.  I get teased all the time by my family for being frugal (well deserved) but thanks to this experience, I try not to turn down experiences.   My most recent big regret is that I didn't spend more time with my brother.  As we both have big families, we were often running in separate directions.  He made time though.  He always stopped by just to say hello.  I am SO grateful he did.  Those visits meant a lot to me back then but they mean the WORLD to me now.  I have learned that making time for family has to be a priority.  It can feel like we have forever but we just don't.  The coordination can be hard - do it anyway.  Covid makes it harder, find a way anyway.   I lost my brother in a covid world which limited our ability to visit and be with him.  While I fully support finding a safe way to do it, I believe that we must find a way to connect and be with our families.  Trust me, when they are gone, you will be able to think of the ways you could have made it happen and that is regret that leaves a mark.   

On a lighter note - some other photos from today....

This girl had some hindsight pointed out to her today.  She has her puppy with her at basketball because she didn't really want to go.  A good stuffy friend makes the hard easier.  Uncle Tev has been with us most of this week and K would MUCH rather hang with him than be bothered with school, basketball, dance or really even dinner.   She went and she had a great game.   She was all smiles at the end - so I gently asked, "Are you glad you came?"  She was.  And I am hopeful that hindsight will remind her at the next event to say yes, even when you don't always want to because you usually have a great time once you get there.  

I always include the photos that E sends me "for the blog" because I love that she participates.  Here she is with her good friend on the bus to an away game for basketball.  I think as E looks in hindsight at 2020 she will see her focus on basketball became a little out of focus as her priorities got shoved out of whack with life's curve balls.  Ironically, I see basketball coming in to save her as well.  She has been more focused and joyful since basketball started than I had seen her in a long time.  She has always loved it, she never stopped working, but the mindset has changed.  She has fire.  And her friend in this picture is another kiddo that has great fire for improvement.  They are a force.  They both played a fierce game with lots of passion today.   It was fun to watch.  

We did a bunch of work and moving of things at our house and these three were forced to help.  The horror!  So we threw on some Christmas music, jumped in the car, and drove around to try and decide who had the most beautiful and fun Christmas lights.   Well this house won the most fun, hands down.  We must have spent 20 minutes sitting outside this house.  You tune into a radio station that they must have broadcasting from inside their home.  And all the lights are coordinated to music.  They even have dialogue between songs.  It is incredibly charming and entertaining.  Prior to our Christmas light excursion, we were crabby, tired, and spent.  In hindsight, we were set up for a real downer of an evening with threats of "straight to bed!!"  But that decision to chill out with a bit of a drive was just what we needed.   Everyone went home more joyful and relaxed.   And when we got home, Uncle Tev had ordered up some extra sweetness to end the day.   

Disappearing Fast!

The funny thing about hindsight is that you never see it coming and yet, it is always there.  Praying that the hindsight in my life will teach me the lessons so that I may have less regret, less missed opportunities, and greater investment in the priorities that matter.