Preparation

 

    Friday night preparations were well underway when I stopped in to see what these two joyful and giggling teens were doing.  The plans they had outlined were full of silliness and fun that I was impressed with their creativity.  As I think about preparedness, I see how the events that have happen this year to E have really prepared her heart to recognize true friendship from those who turn from you in your hardest of times.  To see those who desire to accept you and push you to be the best version of yourself even when, no, especially when you may fall short.  My mama heart aches as she walks through these trials and I have even said to her that I wish that I could make the hurting go away.  But as I sit here and type this, I am recognizing the strength, wisdom, and depth of future friendships she is going to get from these experiences. So while I would never want her to hurt, I can see the good that will come from it. This photo is just one example.  These two are goofy and silly but they have a deep respect and admiration for each other.  They would fiercely defend the other in any situation regardless of blame.  This friendship has been a true blessing.  

As promised, I did stalk big B a little today and made sure that I had some good photos of him.  

Here, I am getting some early morning side eye as I try to snag a photo of the light catching his face so nicely.  As he turned, it became half light and half shadow.  That seemed appropriate for the year this kiddo has had.  Life isn't as easy for big B as it is for the other Hoffs.  He gets dismissed or is the target of unkind comments more than any of my other kiddos.  It prepares in him a heart of empathy and a desire for justice.  I see it building gifts in him that are going to make him a truly remarkable adult.  Doesn't make it easier each day.  But he is strong and he has a great sense of humor and manages to spend most of his time happy as a clam anyway.  He has some good forever friends that he can count on and a few friends that come and go.  It helps that he and God are pretty tight and I think He just shows up when B needs him most.  Many events in the early time of 2020 prepared my heart to realize that there was a disconnect between B's ability and his performance in school. The gift of online school - which was a challenging time but an illuminating one - was that I could see how much he understood and how that didn't translate into test scores.  It isn't that he does poorly in school, it is more that he has a level of understanding that goes to such great depth that he often teaches me new things and new ways to look at things but the score on the exam would indicate a merely adequate fund of knowledge. We discovered the Gifted Development Center in Denver, CO and were able to do some testing there that confirmed and explained many of the things we are seeing.  The kiddo is brilliant but there are road blocks getting in his way.  As we actively work to remove those road blocks, we experience frustrations and disappointment as we do so.  I am hopeful that these challenges are preparing skills and confidence so that he may have many options open to him.  This does seem to be a deficit in public school - how to develop and bring out the child who is smart but learns differently.   It is like Einstein's quote - if you try to get a fish to climb a tree, he will think he is stupid but if you place him in water, he will excel.  There are days that public school feels like the desert and we are grappling for an oasis.  I know this is preparing his world for what grit and determination he will need in the future.  But sometimes, I wonder if this is preparing this mama's heart to advocacy and change for these kids.  It would take me too long to make an impact for B but with his help, I think we could change the world for those who follow.         

Here he is showing that big heart to our pups, Teddy.  He takes him for a walk every day just because he knows that is what Teddy likes.  What a good big brother he is to Teds.  

Here we were treated to a beginning of Jingle Bells on the bass.   It is a big nuisance to take that instrument around but lil b is so proud of it.  He even shifted from novice bass player to bass teacher seamlessly.   K was an excellent and very engaged student.  I love how music and instruments prepare children for the value of grit and hard work.  That the more time you put in, the better you get.  And that just because you can't do something today, doesn't mean you won't be able to do it soon.  Just practice, practice, practice.   

It is clear that sometimes we are preparing for things and sometimes life is preparing us.  May you be prepared for what lies ahead for you and I hope that we stand prepared for what the coming months have in store for us.