Imperfection has been a theme for me lately. By no means have I ever seen myself as perfect - though like my father, I do love to tease that I am so. In fact, in my quest to not catch myself without insight, I am constantly evaluating my own actions and words leaving me keenly aware of my growth opportunities. Gives me so much gratitude for those in my life that tolerate and love me despite my imperfections. But the imperfection theme has also extended beyond me. Imperfect timing of unfortunate events. Imperfect outcomes of perfect efforts. Imperfect challenges in times of weakness or vulnerability. Imperfect efforts against a persistent virus. Imperfect resilience in a time demanding grit. Having patience in times of imperfection can be hard. Isn't it funny how we extend more grace to our own imperfections than we do of the imperfections of others? This is something I want to work on because I know how badly I need the grace of others.
Today was the blood drive the elementary school runs and it continues to be one of the largest blood drives. In the past, I haven't been able to attend as the timing never worked out between work and after school activities. Today, I was able to make the time and stop in. They were running late and I found myself stressing over the long wait and the coming moments of kid pick up and rushing off to the next thing. I nearly left in frustration not appreciating the imperfection that comes with trying to run a blood drive in a pandemic. But, a peace came over me, reminding me that there are more important things than the next activity and giving blood in a time of shortage - or any time for that matter is one of them. I am so glad I did. My brother needed so much blood in the last few months of his life and I consider it an act of honoring him to give blood today. The patience with that imperfection allowed me to slow down, allow some grace, and I met some amazing people whom were all working their tails off to get everyone through the process. Everyone was kind and grateful for the time given and it was so professionally run (you are so impressive, Miss Risa!!). Plus, I got to catch up with a Covi which makes any day a better day. 
One of my great joys right now is a mom group that I put together. I had been joking for a long time that there needed to be a teen mom support group. Let's face it - parenting teens can be tricky business even when you have great kids. I hoped there would be moms out there that were looking for ways to be more present and capable in those moments when our children need us the most. My favorite part is this open dialogue of failures and victories. Where we feel secure and where we are floundering. It provides laughter, support, and an hour and a half each week to focus on how I can do better and be better. It is good for the soul. No doubt. And, I have two beloved and incredible teens that deserve my best.
Tonight's session was about perceptions of perfection and the pressure that brings. We were focused on how in our effort to teach and instruct, we actually make our kids feel judged and that they are expected to be perfect. I think there are few, if any, parents judging and demanding perfection of their kids so why are their efforts to instruct being misperceived. Our inability to let a teachable moment pass and to just listen places pressure where we don't intend it. Guilty as charged. Perhaps if we all went through our day expecting our loved ones and perfect strangers to make mistakes and we met them with love anyway - we would all be able to breathe a little easier. In this season of Christmas, I am reminded that Christ chose to come and live in this broken world knowing our imperfections. BECAUSE of our imperfections. He loves us anyway providing us grace for our imperfection that we don't deserve. I am learning to extend that same type of love to my kids. Love them well and let the consequences do the teaching.
Today there weren't very many photos because we were running all day. But I do have a few photos....
A before school game of pass the puppy. These two can come up with such creative and fun games when I can pry them away from screens. One of the things I want to remember is their sweet relationship. They play so well and are both big idea, creative kiddos. Forts, stores, performances, room parties (complete with games, prizes, and treats), and so much more are just a few things they have done in the last weeks. But when it goes wrong - whew, watch out! They are both a special combination of passionate, competitive, and clever. This creates quite the TNT for sibling rivalry. But when it goes right, it is pretty special. I suspect these two are going to be great friends even into adulthood. As a mom, I am sure glad it goes right more than it does wrong.
Tonight, we were able to watch E play her first game of the season. Though it may feel imperfect to have limited spectators and masks, it is perfectly good for her soul and ours to see her be able to do this sport that she loves so much. I take the photos for the JV team and I was able to catch a shot, a block and a box out in my photos this evening. . . .so I will share them with you!
Tomorrow - I will have to stalk Big B. He works hard to avoid my camera. :)
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