Even so, some things worth remembering have happened in the last few days. After getting K treated and slowly on the mend, I fell victim to what I call, the basketball team cold. The price of a trip to KC - still worth it. A good starting picture is K's hairstyle to help her tackle her post ear infection day off back to school day. In the reflection of the mirror, you can see a small part of the to do list.
Because of my cold, I elected to skip the President's Christmas party for Faculty and Staff. I wasn't feeling up to small talk and felt like all the shaking of hands would be a free gift of a sick Christmas for all I encountered. Wouldn't you know, I missed out on a picture with the PA Program Faculty and Staff with the President and Provost of the University. Not a bad place to work when the President and Provost will happily join you for a picture. Plus I consider myself lucky every day to work with this team to build a physician assistant program that I believe will exceed even our expectations of excellence at a University with a 125 year history of respected medical education. It is really hard to be a working professional and a mom to four kids - the balance is never present and it is a constant struggle between the two areas of responsibility. Working on a project that I believe in so deeply, with a group of people who make me better, to create a program that will last long after me, and the opportunity to develop the best physician assistants by having the privilege to teach them is worth that struggle. All day, every day.
I spent the evening helping my mother in law work out some issues on a new car purchase. I have found a love for negotiation that I didn't know I had by visiting car dealerships now and again. This trip was no exception. Even so, my next goal at a car dealership will be for it to take less than the entire evening. I did come home to find my children watching the Grinch together and it made my heart grow three sizes.
And then there was my sweet hubby and his mama reviewing the ridiculously good deal we got for her. (She purchased a 2017 that had a bunch of problems, so I managed to negotiate and straight up trade for a 2019. Yep, I couldn't believe it either).
The next day was a typical day. Work which kept me busy and then home to run kiddos, three of them, to basketball practices. Sometimes, on those days that I just run, I forget to look, to see the opportunities for photos. On Thursday, I did take the day at a slower pace. I was able to have coffee with a friend and colleague that was so good for my soul. Why I didn't take a picture in that moment, I will never know. A regret from this December photo project - for sure. I see in her what this blog has shown me to be true. Life isn't supposed to be easy and sometimes the hardest times in our life are preparing our hearts for the next big steps. Life is imperfect for her right now. She has championed her way through some hard challenges over the last year. She has handled it with a strength and grace that I admire. Yet, she finds herself still unsettled and lost. In conversation, I can see it - her dreams, her passions, her strengths fighting their way to the surface and the struggle is giving her the bravery to tackle the world. These are the things I must remember when I struggle and when those I love struggle. If we do not allow the struggle, we rob those we love or ourselves from the growth, the strength, the discovery that comes on the other side. May I remember to love them through it not save them from it.
Today was a normal-ish Friday that just had some precious moments with in it. While I picked up my Mom and Dad from the airport, Rich took the kiddos to a Christmas party and they got to see Santa. I was sad to miss it but this is a special Daddy thing they do each year. E had to miss it because she was at basketball practice - shocker, I know.
Then we returned home for some typical Friday night fun. Kevin has started a game night with the boys and they love it. He takes them through challenges that require planning, creativity, and problem solving. It is clear that it is just as much a highlight of Kevin's week as it is theirs.
Normally, little b is part of game night but some sad choices left him in his room for the night. While he is sad, as evidenced by the photograph, he showed great maturity. He had received quite the talking to and a few hours later, he emerged with words of genuine apology, insight into harm he caused others, the embarrassment he caused himself, and had his own ideas of how to make things right to the best of his ability. Being a parent is hard when everything is going well. When kiddos make choices that result in consequences, it is never fun for anyone. It takes extra energy, consumes mental capacity, and requires intention if the lesson is to have any hope of being learned. And most times it is met with defensiveness and anger, so when you get a night like tonight, where connections have been made without your help, consequences accepted because they feel deserved, and intentions to try to put good in the world. . . .well, those are the moments that give you the glimpses of why you do all this in the first place. The connections get made in all of them but it is rare that you get to see it in real time. Leave it to little b to figure it out so quickly. He spent the whole night in his room alone which is hard for any kid. But with loud fun going on downstairs, being the world's most social and outgoing personality, and having a little sister keep asking you to come play - I think it was extra hard. But there he sat, without complaint, and met me only with apologies. Unreal. While his actions were imperfect, he perfectly took responsibility for which I can't help but be proud.
Zoomed out versions of the last blog's close ups.
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