DPP2019 Day 24 and 25 - Merry Christmas from The Hoffmans

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of our friends and family.  Let this DPP Project serve as our Christmas card and letter for this year.  As much as I would love to have a Christmas card each year, I choose this blog instead.  This once a year snapshot in time reminds me of our reality of today.   It tells me the stories that will remind me of quirks and traits of the kiddos that I have long since forgotten.  And hopefully, it will be a place for the kiddos to come and relive their childhood.  The good, the bad, and the crazy of it all.

There are times in every Christmas season that I ask myself why I try to cram this all in during the busiest time of year.  However, as I reach the end of the 25 day project, I am reminded that this blog forces me to slow down, take in the moments that I would otherwise forget, and to remember that in all the hard and chaos of life, there lives so much good. 

Things to remember about 2019 (Starting with January. . . ):

1.  E surviving playing 3 basketball teams during her winter season in early 2019 and managed to still get excellent grades.
2.  B having his birthday at Dave and Busters for the third year in a row with nearly the same kiddos.  We love forever friends.
3.  K putting on an impromptu performance with her karaoke machine (thanks Uncle Tev!) with her good friend who lives down the street.
4.  Big B participating in his middle schools inaugural DI team.
5.  Getting to square dance with Lil B at his elementary school.  It was just the two of us and we had so much fun.  He didn't even care that his mom is ridiculous.
6.  Trip to Pheonix and Sedona with Omom and Pawee.  A side trip to see the Grand Canyon through a snow storm to get there.   The highlight for the boys, especially Lil B, was getting to see a Royals spring training game.  Lil B even caught a foul ball.
7.  Lil B having his kid party six months late but loving every minute thanks to Wildlife Encounters.
8.  K losing her first tooth - the last first tooth lost for us!
9.  The ongoing battle of who is taller, Rich or E.
10.  E preparing for high school and K going to KG round-up!
11.  Taking care of Uncle Tev when his leg got infected.
12.  Summer basketball for E on a top level team.
13.  Pool days and days at Billie's lake.
14.  VBS for K and Lil B while Big B got to be a leader - which he did so well, he got compliments from the adult volunteers.
15.  Baseball for Lil B - he loves this sport!
16.  K learned to ride a bike!
17.  E went to DC and NY with her school
18.  Big B went to church camp and experienced homesickness for the first time ever.  But he quickly overcame it to have yet another awesome week at one of his favorite places to go.
19. Lil B got to go to church camp for the first time.  He loved it.
20.  Omom got an award from the Playhouse for all her years of service.  She has been volunteering there at least three decades, if not four.
21.  Spending the fourth with our favorite basketball families. (Thanks Cramptons!)
22.  Another wonderful trip to Colorado with Cousin Syd and Grandma joining Omom, Pawee, and all of us.   The kids even created a funny song to She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain about Grandma.  Omom was just glad there was someone else to be teased. 
23.  Celebrating Kevin at the beginning of August because he brings so much joy to our lives.
24.  The first class of students begins at the program that I helped to create.  I cannot tell you what an honor it is to get to work for an amazing University with great leadership to create an excellent program that will long outlast me.  I am truly humbled by this great experience.
25.  Celebrating E with her friends at a downtown birthday party.
26.  K's first Husker game.
27.  Celebrating Billie and Rob getting married.
28.   Lil b's golden birthday complete with a trip to KC with his Daddy.
29.  E getting her permit and starting to learn to drive.
30.  E attending her freshman homecoming with two of her good friends.  And several other homecomings with her basketball besties.
31.  A family trip to Orlando for K to get to see and remember a trip to Cinderella's castle.  This was the best trip ever.  The perfect blend of theme park and lazy pool days.  We were grateful to share these memories with Omom and Pawee.
32.  Mom going with K to her first school field trip to the Zoo.
33.  Halloween where Big B went with his friends and had a great time, E took her friend from Switzerland around so that she could experience trick or treating.  And lil B and K loved tackling the neighborhood with all their neighbor friends.
34.  B winning an award for his extra effort in his computer programming class.
35.  Lil B being elected by his class to Kindness Club
36.  K getting a shout out from her teacher for showing extra care to a child in her class needing extra attention.
37.  E making JV basketball as a Freshman.
38.  Rich continuing to use his exceptional problem solving skills in the world of data forensics.  For as silly and fun as he can be, he takes his work seriously and is really impressive at his job. His ability to relate to clients and his ability to solve forensic questions with definitive evidence is second to none.  He is humble, he helps others solves problems without taking any credit and he is the go to guy when everyone else says it can't be done.

As for December?  Well you have come along on that ride with us through this blog....We have so much to be grateful for.....

Merry Christmas.  Happy Holidays.  Happy New Year. 

December Photo Project 2019.....Complete.

DPP Days 22 and 23 - Nothing Says Christmas like a 5 Pound Gummy Bear

I am not sure I would have believed this existed if I hadn't seen it.  This kiddo has been asking for this monstrosity for the last several gift giving events.  It seemed only appropriate that his Grandma, who is often the one who sees the genius of the kid's ideas when we think they are crazy, would buy this for B.  This makes her extra popular with all four kids.  The 22nd was the day we celebrated Christmas with the Hoffman side of the family.  It has always been a great blessing that their tradition has been to celebrate outside the normal time of Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  But I find that we miss seeing them on Christmas.  We may need to add another low key tradition to the mix.  At any rate, those who split their time between families know how hard it can be to fit it all in.  This celebration is always relaxing and fun.  B is seen here ecstatic at his massive gift.  He was kind enough to share with everyone and it was tasty.  You could pull out your teeth trying to get a bite of it though!

E spent a lot of her Christmas like this (we later figured out that she must have some virus because by Christmas, she was running a fever).  Grandma appreciated this because someone gifted her this blanket and she could send a photo of it getting used to the gift giver.  E was happy to oblige.  She does look comfy, doesn't she?

Little b could hardly be bothered to do anything else after opening this gift.  He has spent the last year figuring out how to do things with Rubik cubes and this is one that connects to an app.  It is slowly teaching him the patterns and the ways to do different things with it.  He has expanded his knowledge to how to create a "daisy" on one side and well as a cross.  He has been able to get two sides solved and create a checker board for quite some time.   We think he may be on his way to being able to solve it.  The app will keep track of his time and how quickly he can solve it, once he can.   He is excited to learn all he can.   This kiddo has always done best with gifts that challenge his brain.  He has never been a kid to sit down and play toys much.   He prefers to be playing with friends or being active.  He is such a people person that asking him to play by himself seems like a punishment.  The fact his older brother likes nothing more than some alone time each day is a real inconvenience.  The only things that will keep him entertained on his own are things like this or other STEAM type activities.   Makes me wonder what will be that thing that captures his lifelong attention.

This is the final picture from the 22nd.  A few weeks ago, E played a prank on her Grandma.  This was one of those things that lets me know she has some of her Daddy's orneriness in her.  The short version of the story is that Grandma was asking Alexa to stop playing music.  E kept turning the music back on with the app on her phone.  Well, Grandma gave quite the reaction which erupted the kiddos into fits of giggles.  She caught on to the joke and promised to get even.  E went out on Black Friday for the first time and spent far too much of her own money.  Wise to this problem, she offered the two pairs of shoes she bought to Grandma to give to her for Christmas.  Grandma loves an easy shopping solution and gladly accepted the offer.  After E's prank, Grandma got the great idea of going to Goodwill and buying two of the wildest shoes she could find to replace the shoes E wanted.   This picture is of E opening the first of the shoes and trying to work out if this was a joke or if she was supposed to act like she liked it.   My favorite is the look on her cousin's face which just says to me that she was equally unimpressed.  The other pair was a bright yellow suede 6 inch platform heel with big bows on the straps.   How I didn't get a photo of those, I may never know.  We all tried them on and attempted to walk in them.  Most liked that the shoes nearly made them taller than E.  It turned out to be one fun Christmas memory.   Maybe E learned not to mess with Grandma or maybe she learned that it was a lot of fun......time will tell. 

Day 23 was a wrapping extravaganza for me.  I think I wrapped for the better part of 9 hours.   There were pie crust promises from Rich and the kids that they would come help me but somehow I managed to be the only one wrapping for the majority of the day.  While I wrapped, the kids spent some time enjoying the gifts they were given by Billie and Rob, Barb and Syd, and Grandma.

K picked out this little ice cream serving station.  I was skeptical but it has been a huge hit.  Melissa and Doug really make great stuff and this will definitely be one of those toys we keep around for long after she is done playing with it.   She has been dutifully making ice cream for anyone who sits still long enough to enjoy it.  Here she is making it for her Daddy and this picture was taken by him.

I love this picture so much because they are all three playing with different things, yet they chose to huddle together in this weird space between the kitchen table and the back of the family room couch.  B is eating some "Billie Bread" for his breakfast and if you look carefully, you can see Lil b's piece too.  That was one of our best presents we brought home is a freezer full of Billie Bread.   For those of you out of the know, Billie, Rich's sister, makes some yummy coffee cake like bread.  It is amazing.  We plowed through one whole loaf on day one.

The Christmas prep has come to a near close.  It is always my goal to finish most of the work, other than what has to be done on the day of, prior to Christmas eve and Christmas day.  This way I can better take in the moments that are what make Christmas so special to our family and remember the greatest Gift we all received on that first Christmas night. 

DPP 2019 Days 19 and 20 - Chaos and Crunch Time

 Rich and I have learned something about ourselves this week.  There is a reason that we keep our world tidy.  The mere presence of a room that looks like the one above makes us irritable.  Interestingly, this is not the way we feel when it is another's space - just our own.   I attribute it to the fact so much of our life is crazy and this order gives a sense of peace. It has been a hard week as we adjust to having most of the house look disheveled like this room.  We are fortunate to have it be because our house is getting painted.  We are long overdue for a fresh coat of paint in our main living spaces.  We pushed it too far because we were hoping to get our children to a point in time where we might have some chance of them staying fresh looking for awhile.  There were places where the once light brown wall was so dirty it would look smudged even after washing and a magic eraser.   You do have to embrace some messy walls, scratched floors and tables, and stains in the carpet when living with four children.  But the end of this week leaves us with intact, freshly painted, and nice looking walls for the time being.  There is still that doorknob size hole in K's room from throwing her door open and I am certain that are many dings in the boys rooms too.   Now I need a friend with a gift for decorating to come help me identify what should go up on walls, help me pick out new rugs, and pull together my kitchen, family room, entry way and master bedroom.   That is just a gift that I didn't get.

It was crunch time last night for this lady.  Here she is working on her Geometry and really getting it down.  Regardless of how she performs on this exam, I know that she knows the material and she understands it.  This was followed up by several hours preparing for World Geography and English.  I am hopeful that she recognizes the disadvantage to cramming the night before - though she did work ahead on both English and Geometry.  I think we all have to learn through trial and error the ways we must study to be effective.  I don't worry about her though.  She is responsible and self-motivated.  She pushes herself to be better in school, sports, and in life.  Sometimes our role as parents is reminding her that growth is better than perfection and that we all need a little grace from time to time.  Mistakes are a part of life and, if we take time to learn from them, they make us better. 

This little lady is working hard too.   She turned down the opportunity to go shopping in stores for all her siblings and got to work making everyone a little something for Christmas.  She took such painstaking time and effort on the artwork that she made for each family member.   She cares so deeply and works so hard.   Here, she is carefully writing her tag for her gift for her teacher.  She is loving Kindergarten and she loves her teacher even more.

This is how this guy started my day before he headed out to school.  He always keeps things light and funny.   He is negotiating the world of humor, constantly trying to entertain people.  As he navigates this, he misses the mark sometimes.  He is learning in the process what is funny versus annoying, entertaining versus offensive.  It is cringy at times but when he gets it right (which is often), he really nails it.  This is a new gift of his that seems to be emerging and I will be interested to see where it takes him.   On this morning, with the house in war zone state, he just stood posed, waiting for me to notice him in his sister's ear muffs - flashed me the biggest, cheesiest stance and facial expression - and it made me genuinely laugh.  Just as quickly as he had done it, he returned to his normal getting ready routine and I took a moment to be grateful for these little flashes of humor that brighten my day.  And honestly - his outfit needs to be memorialized as well.  He is a t-shirt and pants guy every day at school.  He has 3 or 4 of shirts this color so it feels like he is always wearing this outfit.   He is happy as a clam in it so I let it be but I am sure there will come a day that I forget that this was his middle school "uniform" and that this post will remind me of who he was on this day and in this moment.

I caught this photo out a window upstairs before I headed down to start the get everyone out of the door chaos.   It was a good reminder of the calm in the world that we confuse with unnecessary chaos.  I love the chaos of our life most of the time because it is full of memories and fun.   But anyone who reads this blog knows that I cherish the moments when the chaos clears for a moment so that I can reflect and be intentional in recognizing the many blessings in my life.  Even in the morning hubbub to get out the door, there is time for sunrise admiration.   I called the three littles in to appreciate the quiet beauty with me.  They weren't nearly as impressed as I was - but perhaps it planted just a little seed so they take these moments in when they are older. 

Day 20
The only other photos from this two day period were from a party that Rich attends each year at a law firm that he works with every year.  He has become part of their work family and he really enjoys the people there.  They are kind enough to invite our whole family to their work Christmas party.   Unfortunately, I rarely get there because there is always someone who has somewhere to be.  Today, it was little B.  Since he was sick earlier this week, he needed to attend his basketball practice.  E opted to stay home and go to bed early after being up all night studying.  She has earned some well deserved down time.  I wish I would have taken a before and after picture of her.  She was visibly less stressed after school knowing that she was done with school until January.  Little B was sad to miss the party but accepted the responsibility to his team like a champ.  I was really impressed with his understanding of the importance of not missing his second practice.  So Big B and K got to go and represent with their Dad.  From what I am told, they had a wonderful time and so did Rich.

It never hurts when the Big Man himself stops by with a gift and a listening ear for Christmas wishes.  We didn't get them to see Santa anywhere else so we were grateful that he made time to come to the Christmas party.

Now - it is time for me to head back to crunch time for Christmas prep.  E's hard stressful time may be done, but I still have a ways to go.  Fortunately, we are on track to have everything done soon as long as I get to work now. 

DPP2019 Day 16 - Shift

I have a new friend from work whom I enjoy very much.  I think it is her matter of fact and down to earth nature. I know it is because she is real.  Some of her sayings that stick with you even after only knowing her a short while are things like, “Shift and make it work.” Or “LTSG” (let that stuff go).  She does not fluster easily and I love that about her.  Today, I heard her in my head as my plan for the day melted before my eyes under the heat of a fever.   With Rich working from home, I am unlikely to stay home with sick kiddos but he had appointments and calls that would keep me home for the morning.  It didn’t take long to realize, this was a day that just needed mom at home.  Lil b woke up cooking.  After his ibuprofen, he was sitting around 101.  His throat was wicked sore and he was miserable.  I took him in to be checked for strep, which was positive.   As we waited for the medicine, he leaned against the counter while I paid, then melted to the floor, and then started to fall asleep - in the time it took me to pay.

With a new semester looming just on the other side of the holidays - there were pressing things at work that needed my attention.  Plus we had planned a holiday reception for all the people on campus that helped us launch a successful first semester.   As we watched the minutes tic by at Quick Care, my hope of getting in for the afternoon started to fade.  Lil b had a great one liner as he sat with his eyes closed, “Mom, for something called Quick Care, they are not very quick.”    We decided to walk over to Starbucks for a distraction from the waiting and to get mom some coffee.   He asked for a snowman cake pop.  A good sign!  Turned out, that cake pop lasted until the next day.  This cake pop should be all the explanation you need to realize the level of misery.   Because not only did b pass on the chance to eat a sweet, he was so miserable, not a single sibling even asked if they could have it instead.

What I believe is one of the great gifts of being ill or having someone you love be under the weather, it shifts into sharp focus the things that are most important.   It displays what can wait, what can be done in the quiet moments of a sick day, and when mom snuggles are just gonna be the only snuggles that do the trick.   The other great gift is that you have a new appreciation for wellness.   I am grateful for my village.  Grateful for awesome coworkers.   Grateful to carpools and care for my other kiddos.  Grateful for antibiotics.  :)

Lil b also had to miss his Christmas recital.  E played in the recital.   She hasn’t been as committed to piano these last few years.  I am grateful for her patient and kind teacher.  I struggle with letting her quit knowing she will regret it or making her continue when she doesn’t put in the time needed to improve.  Maybe the Spring will be better for practicing for all.  B took a break from piano to spend some extra time on school which is needed for now.   He hopes to return soon.  K cannot wait to begin.

The last photo I took was of two stow aways that made their way into our bed while Rich and I got ready for work.  I just felt like the picture said Monday morning pretty clearly.

Mornings are hard.

Falling asleep writing so I will end here for today.

DPP2019 Day 14 Some family bonding with a healthy dose of silly.....

The photo for Day 14 was from the end of the day.  It took some effort to convince everyone to join in the family room but we got there.  Kevin read us a story called "Santa's Underpants".  This plays well in the elementary demo with guffaws in all the right places.  The middle school and high school demo can be seen smiling and being humored.  A silly book but a cute one.  Then we snuggled in to watch the old school Santa Claus is Coming to Town.  The older I get, these are the moments that I love most about this season.  With Christmas creating a sort of deadline,  we squeeze in these sweet moments before bedtimes.  These types of memories are my favorite way to have some family bonding.

Due to Big B not feeling his best on Friday night, Saturday morning started slow and easy.    Big B had his activities cancelled due to his under the weatherness which allowed space for everyone before afternoon basketball settled in.   Little b was allowed a special treat to get to go by himself to his grandparents house and have a sleepover with them and Uncle Kevin.  This left Big B and K to have a morning to themselves while E was at basketball practice and team bonding.  They worked together to make a warm breakfast of eggs and toast, both taking their jobs very seriously.  They also snacked on Veggie straws while they cooked.  Listening to their little conversations and assembly line updates was pretty cute.  K is really lucky to have three siblings that love to hang with her and they are lucky to have a little sister who thinks they hang the moon. 

After the breakfast was made, there was time for games.  B decided to teach K about Monopoly.  Besides a few "loans" from the bank, that were at least in equal amounts to both of them, they played a fairly true to the rules game.  B verified his trades to make sure they were fair.  And he was rewarded with the sweet admiration and trust from his sister.   The picture with K looking at B is blurry but that face as she looks at him was one that I couldn't pass up.  This was a biggest brother and littlest sister bonding day - to the point that little b was a little jealous when he returned home.  He and K are usually the ones running off to play.  Pretty sure K liked having them both want to be with her.  Being the diplomat, she had a plan that would include everyone.  No way was she being made to choose between two of her favorite people.

Perhaps the best part from today was the stop between practice and team bonding.  This is the story that I promised you when writing yesterday's blog.  E has always had an excellent sense of humor but has reached a stage where she embarrasses a bit more easily than what has been typical.  This is a brutal family to be part of if you embarrass easily.  We embrace authenticity over being cool.  Real over polished.  Crazy over boring.  This was on fine display as E had a friend over, who is from Switzerland and here as an exchange student, so they could relaxing before time for team bonding.  Just hanging out and minding their own business, little did they know what was to come.

Well, Rich decided this was the precise moment that E needed to mold her new super thin mouth guard to her mouth.  (E is not excited about this - which means she will not wear it - but it has been provided so those consequences will be hers to handle).  I suddenly realize that a little backstory is needed.  Rich has always been one to use sarcasm to captain obvious questions - this caused great confusion before our kids were old enough to comprehend sarcasm.  This morning, little b rode along to pick up E and her friend from practice.  As several basketball players were all walking to their cars, little b asks, "why is E at school on a Saturday?"  Rich quickly replied, "Cheerleading tryouts."  Little b quickly realized after this wrong answer that he knew the answer to his question, giggled, and said, "Wow - there is lots of competition."  So back to the mouth guard, while trying to engage E and her friend in conversation, he brought up cheerleading tryouts.  Then he proceeded to do his version of cheerleading moves and a cheer that went something like, "Mold the guard, mold, mold the guard."  The absurdity of a 40+ year old man attempting kicks and jumps, while clapping and chanting is something we shall never forget.  For you, you must use your imagination and I have this picture to help you appreciate it.   The resulting faces of the teenagers were absolutely priceless.  The combination of disbelief and laughter was hysterical to watch. 

Oh?  Did I fail to mention he was also in Homer Simpson slippers?  Yep, that's my guy.    Such good form on his kicks and arms, eh?   One of my favorite things about Rich is that he doesn't take himself, life, or the opinion of others too seriously.  He is just an authentically good guy who will do anything to make those he loves laugh or smile.  He is disarmingly charming which lets him get away with his goofy nerdiness.  He is just one of those people that people can't help but like - even if their first impression was a little crazy.   E will learn to embrace the crazy - until then...... she will blush a lot.

When K saw that Windle was holding the Grinch that she created out of construction paper and glitter paint, she created this artwork for him.   I thought it was too cute not to take a photo. I love her heart and her inner artist.

Best buddies.

Oh Teddy is so happy that Pawee is back in town and stopping by to see him.  Teddy LOVES Kevin and Pawee on a totally different level than the rest of the world.   It makes his day when either one comes to see him.  For the record, Teddy believes that it is always to see him - even when they come for other reasons.   Pawee pretends to not like Teddy. . . .but we know better.....

DPP Days 10,11, 12, 13 Kindness matters

Four days have gone by without a blog post.  My oldest said, "But mom, you cannot let down all your fans!"   Funny girl.  Interestingly, my oldest is largely the reason the blog had to wait for the last four days.  As finals approach, she is finding herself more overwhelmed by the demands on her time (though she fails to see the number of minutes her phone steals from her day).  She requested my help in reading Lord of Flies.  She is my most independent child by far so this request was an easy reason to skip writing the blog and to focus on letting this rare request for help be enjoyed.  It was amazing to me how quickly the story came flooding back to me.  I realized quickly why she needed my help.  The author uses a lot of vivid imagery to story tell which can be missed if you aren't focused on and living in the details.  If E were to tell you the most annoying thing I say to her on a regular basis - it would definitely be, "Details matter."   This style of writing wasn't playing to her strong suit but after two nights of working those details together, she took off on her own and finished the book. 

Day 10 - The only picture I took was this one.

What Big B is looking at here is one of the sweetest gifts that I have ever been given.  My brother Kevin is incredibly thoughtful all the time but it is especially evident in his gift giving.  This is an advent calendar in the form of a wooden Gingerbread house.   In each drawer is a piece of paper with a statement from either Rich or one of the kids with what they love about me.  Each day I get to read how in some way that I am appreciated.  Be still my heart.  Is there a better way to start each day than with a dose of kindness from those you love most? Honestly, with that kind of brilliance in gift giving - how will I ever find the perfect gift for him?!?!?

Day 11

This was the only picture on day 11.   This is the heater at the hair stylists.   It is the perfect picture for this day because it had been a long and hard day.   And this was my only quiet moment.  When the stylist walks away,  I get a few precious moments to be alone with my thoughts in the cozy heat.  I was sitting there reflecting on the Lord of Flies chapters we read, the current impeachment process, the way one of my kiddos is currently being treated, and even the fear we hold as adults to be vulnerable.  Dominance behavior is a pervasive trait in the animal kingdom.  We learn that teaching our dog that we are dominant or alpha makes for a calmer, happier, well mannered pup.  But as humans, in theory, we are supposed to be evolved past this.  Yet, every day you see someone choose political opinion and arrogance in belief over friendship and family.  You need only walk into a middle school or high school to see some false hierarchy that is being developed by a few to allow the impression there are students that are "better" than others and those who are worth less.  What is really the biggest mystery is that so many accept this as contrived reality.  Similarly, in the corporate world, in academia, even within your local Target, you will see a man made hierarchy.  Some, if not most adults recognize that this does not dictate worth over another human.  That as humans we are created equally and deserved of the same love and respect as any other human.  The CEO and entry level associate are equally valued in the world though their roles are different.  But we all see every day examples of people treating others the way Jack treated Piggy in Lord of the Flies.   Treating the human who already has challenges and fear and adding to that experience.  Tearing them down, adding strife to the challenges they already face.  What is it about human nature that people feel entitled to mock others merely because they are different or challenged in some way?  Is it any wonder that those who are struggling do not reach out for help?  From the time we are very young, we see examples of those who cry are mocked.  Those who are weak, are left out.   Those who are different, exiled.  Those lessons get embedded which makes it really hard to ask for help and seek out those humans who do really care.  I doubt there is anyone on the this planet who has not been a victim of dominance behavior at some point in time which is why it is so relatable.  But if we are being honest, I doubt there are very few if any on this planet who have not also been guilty of dominance behavior.  This is why it is important to give grace.  My kiddos have been guilty, I have been guilty, we all have.  Learning from the hurt felt at your words or actions is sometimes the most painful growth we must all endure.  But days like today, when the hurt of that behavior hits so close to home, we will circle our wagons, love on our people, and we will be better tomorrow by looking for those who need human kindness.  I know that God is giving this struggle to build strength and there are big plans ahead but that doesn't make it easier today.

Day 12

We needed a new day after Day 11 - so my first photo of day 12 was in the school drop off lane (don't worry, we were at a complete stop) with the sun shining in on tired eyes promising the hope of a new day.  The beauty in the times that get families leaning in together to be that structure and support we need is that you watch the individuals rise.  These two rose by getting ready for school without a single reminder.  We have never had a morning run so smoothly.  There were smiles, kindness, and laughter in the getting ready process.  I don't know if it is good or bad that I know this kind of wonderfulness can exist in the mornings because I know I will long for it when the mornings are especially challenging.  Live in the moment, right?  And I loved everything about this morning and this moment.

The only other photo I took on this day was of this cool down moment.  Now let me be very clear that I believe that Karen, the adult in this photo, is an angel here on earth.  We would not have discovered her had she and her husband Pete not been the kind and intentional neighbors they are.  They walk the neighborhood and stop to chat with neighbors.  They remember the details of who they are and what is important to them.  Somewhere in our many chats, we learned of the work Karen does.  She is an occupational therapist and she works with many children who are struggling in this world.  She has a gift for identifying not only the areas of neurologic deficit but more importantly where strengths are.  She has been helpful in helping Big B develop strategies to make school, studying, and executive functions easier.  But even if she wasn't helping him so much, it is worth coming to see her each week because she identifies true strengths, recommending for how those strengths might serve him in the future, and he always leaves walking taller than he came.  As a mom, she has helped me understand Big B even better and has given me tools to be more effective in tackling the challenges that inevitably come.   B would tell you that the best part is that he has met friends and that her basement is a no rules zone.   He gets lots of input in a safe and fun environment.  Is there any greater kindness than meeting people where they are, seeing their bright spots so clearly, and providing them tools to overcome their challenges?  See?  An angel on earth.   The best thing we have learned is that B has a strength in meeting children where they are, accepting them completely, and befriending them sincerely.  I hope to be more like B when I grow up because I would give anything for that to come naturally to me.  Because of this strength, Karen sometimes seeks Ben's help with kiddos that need practice on social skills.  Building confidence is her super power.  In this photo is not a kiddo that B is helping but a new friend.  These two were competing as strangers for who could launch themselves over the tallest pile of cardboard bricks.  Without ever meeting each other, they challenged each other to try harder, problem solve and improve.   Eventually, they were ready to meet and they became fast friends. 

Day 13

The photo of the day is the work of the youngest Hoffman.  She is clearly grasping the customs of Christmas more and more each year.  She is a lover of all arts and crafts so she has been working hard to make gifts for everyone in the family.  I am hopeful the olds know to be kind and embrace her treasures genuinely.  She is working hard.   She is also the only Hoffman who has done any work towards Christmas.   Even typing that raises my blood pressure.  I am behind the 8 ball this year like I never have been before and on top of it all, I don't feel like I have any good ideas except for my hubby.  He is gonna love his gift.  Wish I could tell you all about it but he reads this thing.  (Spoiler - I spent all morning this morning working on shopping - and I am in a much better position - but on Day 13, the weight was heavy).

If this picture raises questions - you are in good company.   When my coworker told me he had purchased me a gift while in Phoenix for work, I knew to say uh-oh.   Gifts are not something we typically do and if we do, it is usually a gag of some sort.  What a shock this was to open.  Not only is this a rubber chicken (a dog toy, I think) - this chicken is BRIGHT PINK and the only part more obnoxious than the hot pink with a red Santa suit is the sound that it makes.   It is quite the conversation piece.  It disappears every so often but I always know where it has gone because the person inevitably squeezes it to scare a coworker or to lovingly annoy a coworker.  One of my favorite things about my team at work is that we are friends first and coworkers second.  We eat lunch together most days - which other departments find weird - but we have great conversation and lots of laughs.  And then we have things like this, random things that bring a little extra fun to our work day.  This levity was more than welcome after a long hard week and that levity was a great kindness to me.

You may wonder what this close up is for.  It is weird in focus but I still had to include it.  What great hilarity ensued when my mom and dad stopped by on their way home from the airport and we all notice this unusual tan line on Dad.  We were so happy to see them as we always miss them when they travel.  My dad tans like crazy - he gets so brown, so easily.  But it seems that he squinted quite a bit on this particular trip because he has a very distinct pale 11 right between his eyes.  This picture doesn't do it justice but you can at least see a hint of it.  Humble as he always is - he just said, "Well, if you score people between 1-10, this just proves, I am an 11."   Always quick with a response.   This evening was the best because not only were my mom and dad back in town but Rich returned from his work trip.  These times that Rich travels is always a good reminder that he makes me better.  Our team effort is and always has been far better than when one of us is on our own.  His mom sweetly comes and helps us out whenever one of us travels and she makes the time doable.  She is tremendously helpful and we are eternally grateful for her kindness.  But nothing can replace having Rich around.   Wait for the next blog.... you will see just one reason why it is so fun to have him around. 

If you made it this far. . . .I am impressed.  Its a long one....

Day 8 and Day 9 - Say yes.... figure it out later.

Sometimes the best things in life come from saying yes and figuring it out later.  That has been a motto of most of my adult life.  Fearlessly forging forward into projects that I don't know how I will do or when I will have time for it.  My experience tells me that you always get great things from those opportunities.  You either succeed, you learn, you grow, or you do all of the above and more.   I did say yes to helping to decorate the Millard West locker room for our girl basketball players.   My partner in crime was awesome and thought about the project before the day before it needed to be done.  She was on the ball, had supplies in hand, and ideas in her head.  She tolerated my squeezing the work in between basketball, piano lessons and more.  I need those people in my life and I am eternally grateful for her.  We busted out the cricut on day 8 which had been collecting dust for far too long and made some stars for the lockers.  Day 9, we decorated the locker room.  The girls came in while we were there and their reaction was fantastic.  Not only did their genuine surprise and gasps let us know they liked it, they were kind and thankful in their interactions with us.  Definitely made saying yes worth it for both of us.  Plus, I really liked getting to know my partner in crime better - she is truly the best.

We had a little more basketball on Day 8.  It was K's turn to have her game.  I hadn't planned to take my big camera as I didn't really see the point.  Little kid basketball rarely moves fast enough to need anything besides a cell phone.  But I had brought it for the other kid's games so I said yes and boy did I figure out it was worth it later when I looked at the pictures.   They were so cute.  Here are just a few of my favorites and the stories behind them. 

My favorite story of the game is the picture I will use for day 8.   All of a sudden, while all her teammates were practicing shooting, I noticed that K wasn't there.  I looked around a bit.  When I found her, I snuck up behind her to grab a quick photo.   The coach saw me doing it and came up to me.  "Isn't that the cutest thing?  Do you know why she is standing there?"   "No, I just thought it was a cute little stance."  "She asked me when she was able to play more basketball and I told her as soon as those green numbers are done counting down.   She has been there watching the numbers since I told her that.  I think she loves basketball."    Well didn't that just make me love the picture more....  Had I not had my big camera trying to shoot her during half time shooting, I would have missed this adorable moment.

K is a pretty fierce baller.  She wants to be like her big sister in every way.  I pray every day that her big sister continues to set a great example that is worthy of her adoration.

Look at the form....what?!?!!  She made that jump shot.

Equally humorous during halftime, I took this picture and titled it:   "Cheering Section?"

And just a quick moment for a little Daddy Daughter snuggling.  Doesn't E look thrilled?  Honestly, these two are hilarious together.  They tease and needle each other nearly constantly.  Joking about who is taller and calling each other shorty.  Rich once made print out pictures about being a short girl and E printed out her dad's face and superimposed it onto the short girl.   Love that they have this fun relationship.

The last few moments to share of Day 8 just shows some of the simply joys that happen when life is just going on around you.  We had some brown chair in the morning (our favorite and an easy yes - no figuring out later needed) when in comes Lil b to tell us that he and K have been working on rubber band necklace.  They decided to combine them.   Whoa.....

Our bigs have to do their own laundry as part of their payment for having a cell phone.  Big B is slow to do his and complains about the entire process.  Naturally, he had waited too long to do laundry so he was forced to sneak down to grab some pants while carefully staying concealed.  I mean, he has little siblings who are likely to sing about England and France if he isn't careful.

Finally, a quick Panera lunch stop in between all the stops had these three snuggled on once side of the booth waiting for their food.  E took this with her phone but I loved it too much not to include it.

Day 9 was light on the pictures and stories - except for the one below.  But we did squeeze in a post piano dinner at Culver's with an awesome Uncle and a loving Grandma.   It was a busy but great day.

OH MY GOODNESS!   I almost forgot!   We had a parent watch day at dance class!  It was tough leaving work today in time to get here for there were a hundred things to do.  However, I said yes - and I will figure out the work tomorrow.   It was adorable to watch her dance and smile from ear to ear doing it.  Reminded me of all my years at Janet's dance studio, both dancing and teaching.   Grateful to my sweet friend Jessica who takes K each week.   K and her friend Mia have the best time together. 

Off to bed for this tired mama! 

DPP2019 Day 7 - Basketball, Puppies, and Spidey

Today was a hodge podge of all the things.  On the surface, we thought that this day was going to be all about basketball.   This time of year, we go to a lot of basketball games.  We love it but it does make for crazy schedules and lots of coordination.   Today’s Picture is an iPhone photo and the photo creds go to Rich.   I am giving it the title of mismatch.   This must be how people felt playing E and her friend Lu back in the day - but man, 7th grade basketball is pretty unforgiving for the young man who hasn’t started to grow yet!

Mismatch

We call Big B the mosquito when he plays basketball.  He is fast with good timing and unpredictable movements.   He doesn’t look like most basketball players in the way he moves but it is amazing how effective he is.  He steals off the dribble and manages to get his shots up even when surrounded by giants by patiently waiting for one of his fakes to draw them off.   We spend a lot of time shaking our heads and saying, “how did he do that?”   We love to watch him.

Lil b started the day off early with some basketball.  He had two league games back to back.  His team has transformed from bad news bears to contenders in the last couple weeks.  They are clearly working hard and teaching team concepts.  A big shout out to OSA and especially Charles Thompson for the way he leads that boys program.  Lil b is in the youngest age group and not on one of the top teams.   Charles has been present, encouraging, and coaching in at least half of his games so far this season.   Our lead coach is a dad but he is also fantastic.  So his presence shows a commitment to development of all players at all levels.  So impressive.

 This age is the best.  They are old enough that the game is slowly starting to look like basketball but still young enough that a made basket will get smiles and pats on the back.  Lil b tends to skip back onto defense.  Cracks me up.  

While Rich went to watch Big B at his game, I headed to Marian to watch E play.  She had a good day.  I took a few photos which I will share here.  What I love is how it shows her intensity and focus.    She isn’t a natural ball player but she will work hard and give everything she’s got.  I have so much respect for the sweat equity she is willing to give to this sport she loves.   She is rewarded with improvement but keeps her focus on what is next to need improvement.

Mine!

She may be over six feet but she is determined to be as fast as little guards. 

It is blurry but she was hitting threes and this is the only one I caught! 

After a long morning, there were a few hours of space in the afternoon for everyone to slow down and enjoy life.  While I was out shuttling E to work and to social plans, Rich was busy holding down the fort.

Sleeping on the job. 

It is so rare to have everyone slow down enough to be able to watch an afternoon movie and crash.   Big B was hiding up in his room - which may be my least favorite thing about kids growing up.  I love having my ducklings around.  I accept that it is a normal part of growing up for them to retreat to their space and build independence.   I miss them just the same.  E and Big B have the best personalities and keep us laughing.  Why wouldn’t we want them around?!?

I do love that the Littles will grow weary of screens and get busy playing. We were extra safe this afternoon as we were protected by these characters.

Now this will be something I miss terribly over the years as it disappears.  Watching E and Big B transition out of enthusiastic dance parties, dress up, and imaginative play - makes my mama heart keenly aware of how quickly this fun phase will end.   For now, I will appreciate it and encourage the fun!  To be clear - we still insist on full family participation in the occasional dance party - but some participants are less than enthusiastic.  Building character one embarrassing moment at a time.

We ended our day with this bedtime discovery.  Rest well all.