Watchful Waiting - DPP Day 3

Our Saturday developed like many of our Saturdays do as of late.  The day begins slow and quiet, snuggled in with coffee, Christmas carols, candles lit, and my STAR journal which bring peace and focus for the day.  The calm is usually disrupted by some kid activity.  As the day goes on, we collect extra people and animals until by the end of the day, the house is full of noise, activity, people, and love.   In the photo above, which I have titled "Watchful Waiting".  The dogs are trying to keep up with all the coming and going of all the people.  I suspect they just heard the garage door go up and they are waiting expectantly to see who will emerge from the doorway which result in barking and a rush for the door.  They will also pick up a shoe to present to the lucky arriving party. 

Watchful waiting is a concept in medicine that supports that sometimes the best action is no action for now.  When we want to give some time to see if the body will heal itself.  It seems passive but it is actually an active and powerful tool to promote the long term health of the patient by not doing too much.  Giving the body medicines or interventions that are not needed are not without consequence and violates our oath to first, do no harm. But it is not passive - it required attention, follow up, and intentionality of ongoing evaluation for when either the watchfulness is no longer needed or treatment is needed.  I have been trying to apply this same concept to life.  For example, when a kiddo struggles, I sit back and wait, though not passively.  I am watching for the inputs of how they are doing, what strategies they are trying, if their mental wellness is holding strong under the stress, and if they are within their capabilities of resolution.   Very useful tool.  

Our day started with a championship match for little K - which they came up just short.  But her team went 6-1 in their league and fought hard for a close loss in the final game.  She mentioned being nervous for her game and I nearly scoffed and said, "It is 3rd grade basketball . . ."  Instead, I chose my typical sports advice which stems from both my ineptitude in sports coaching knowledge as well as what I deem most important for them to get out of sports.   "Just focus on giving your best effort, maintain a good attitude, and be a good teammate - the rest will take care of itself." It is usually met with an eyeroll or complete disregard for the statement but I am hoping if I say it enough, it will travel life with them.  I will watch and wait for that seed to grow and blossom.  

K had an awesome cheering squad (I am taking the picture).  Yesterday, on the way home from my parents, K asked Lil b if he was going to come to her game.  I held my breath and practiced some watchful waiting - wondering if Lil b would realize that innocent and quiet question was actually an invitation from someone who wanted him to be there.  Lil b, as he usually does, picked up on that hopeful question perfectly and answered, "I can do that.  I would love to watch you play!"  Exhale and smile.  That was some of those seeds sowed long ago that are truly blossoming.  Well done, b.  Well done.  

Lil b is a kid that just wants to be with people.  We love this about him except when it comes time to purchase a gift for him.  He has a closet full of untouched toys and lego sets that we have begun to donate and give away.  His Uncle Tev, who is a very thoughtful gift giver, gave Lil b an experience gift for his birthday.  Today, he cashed it in.  He was given an activity of his choice with his family or a small group of friends.  He took his friend to an escape room.   Having never done an escape room, we were unsure if these two middle school boys could do it alone.  So Uncle Tev got to go too - because he literally knows everything (you want him at your trivia table every single time).  Rich and K went along as well.   Turned out, the kids rocked it and Tev and Rich got in the way.  They were a few minutes short of success but plans are already being made for the next time. Rumor has it, it is all Rich's fault.  Fortunately, he takes the blame with grace and humor which makes it even more fun for all. 

I had lunch with a dear friend and then headed home to start working on that Christmas to do list.  I called to invite my Mom and her puppy over to help with the festivities.  This provides Mom a change of pace, the puppy time to play with our Teds, and Dad can have some time to do his own thing.  Rich's mom, saint that she is, came up for the game and stayed to fold laundry. Yes, I know I am incredibly bless by her!  She is seriously the best. So we had a hang out of all the moms.   As everyone began to return, we played some games.  Here is a photo of Lil b, his buddy, playing shut the box with Mom and me.  I could see the confusion in Lil b's friend as we had to reexplain what to do each round.   I told him that Mom has Alzheimer's and that she just needs a little prompting then I sat back and waited watchfully.  It was time to see how he responded and if I needed to use it as an opportunity to teach how to maintain dignity and respect while being helpful.  I did not.  He adapted quickly and sweetly became part of the team prompting her - but not doing it for her.  He spoke respectfully and gave her dignity.  Middle school school boys can and will rise when given the opportunity!

Big B and E spent their days with friends - as teenagers do.  I will try to catch them in the wild tomorrow. . . 

Watchful waiting is a process for sure.  Sometimes, there is expectancy and eagerness.  Watching our kids grow up and becoming humans that we think are pretty great is an incredibly rewarding time to watch and wait.  Sometimes, there is worry and anxiousness.  Watching my parents both walk through hard medical things that both end only one way is an incredibly hard time to watch and wait.  Even so, as you will see in the posts to come, there is a ton of gift in that process because it leads us to value time together, to not take each other for granted in the hustle and bustle, and it makes priorities quite clear.  I also definitely do not want to forget the seasonal reason to watchfully wait for the birth of Jesus and when life gets hard, it makes the preparation of my heart in gratitude for this free gift of which I am undeserving all that much easier.